Snippets from The True Meaning of Smekday. Click any of the pictures to enlarge
I’m reading The True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex and oh my goodness, this is delightful! There’s so much in it I want to quote or share! The plot is Gratuity Tucci is writing essays about earth after aliens called the Boov invaded. There’s a picture of her in the above gallery.
Gratuity Tucci, the narrator, is really great and with what I know about history, some of this stuff is pretty much dead on, like:
In a ridiculously short amount of time, the Boov determined that humans were unwilling to mix peacefully into their culture. They pointed out all the people who fled instead of welcoming their new neighbours, even those whose home had been taken outright.
Captain Smek himself appeared on television for an official speech to humankind. (He didn’t call us humankind, of course. He called us the Noble Savages of Earth. Apparently we were all still living on Earth at this point.)
“Noble Savages of Earth,” he said. “Long time have we tried to live together in peace.” (It had been five months.) “Long time have the Boov suffered under the hostileness and intolerableness of you people. With sad hearts I must concede that the Boov and humans will to exist as one.
I remember being really excited at this point. Could I possibly be hearing right? Were the Boov about to leave? I was so stupid.
“And so now I generously grant you Human Preserves–gifts of land that will be for humans forever, never to be taken away again, now.”
I stared at the tv, mouth agape. “But we were here first,” I said pathetically.
Pig purred.
The ceremony went on for some time. The Boov were signing a treaty with the different nations of the world. It all looked strange, and for more than the obvious reasons. Usually big political events are full of men in suits, but the Boov were joined now by totally ordinary-looking people. The woman who signed on behalf of the Czech republic was carrying a baby. the man who signed for Morocco wore a Pepsi T-shirt. When it came time to sign with the United States, our country was represented by some white guy I’d never seen before. It certainly wasn’t the president. Or the vice president. It wasn’t the Speaker of the House or anybody else I’d ever noticed on television or elsewhere. It was just some sad, nervous-looking guy in jeans and a denim shirt. He stooped. He had a thick mustache and glasses. He was wearing a tool belt, for God’s sake, pardon my language. We learned later it was just some random plumber. I think his name was Jeff. It didn’t matter to the Boov.
So that’s when we Americans were given Florida. One state for three hundred million people. There was going to be some serious lines for the bathrooms.
I can’t wait to finish it and give a proper review, but just from where I am right now, I really really like it.